Glenda Fahey: mediator

Ozzie: Kerin Motsinger
Victor: Patricia Headen

Mediation was conducted synchronously on April 18 (due to my Easter break travels!) from approximately 8:00 PM - 9:30 PM, in Tapped In.

The two disputants in this scenario were Ozzie and Victor, two eighth grade boys who were fighting on the school bus.

Ozzie: Ozzie is your typical "tough" guy who doesn't want anyone to get the better of him. He seems to be very cognizant of his reputation, and will go to great lengths to protect it, even if it gets him in trouble. He is not at all remorseful about his behavior or the injuries he inflicted on Victor, who wound up in the hospital. Apparently, Ozzie is respectful of his father, who is working with him to improve his behavior and general attitude. This may be his saving grace.

Victor: Victor is more the quiet, nonviolent type of boy. He likes things to be copacetic, and never realized that Ozzie was angry with him, let alone planned to fight with him. He likes to be agreeable, and wants to "fix" this situation so that he and Ozzie might even be friends. His main concern is that his mother had to pay $250 that insurance didn't cover for his hospital treatment after the fight. He knows that his mother is forgiving as well, and knows she was always fond of Ozzie.

Victor's story:

Victor claimed that he heard some boy had told Ozzie that Victor was planning to fight with him. While on the bus that afternoon, Victor tried to talk to Ozzie about it when Ozzie hit him and started a fight. Victor had to go to the hospital with a concussion, and missed three days of school while recovering. Victor claimed to be very surprised when Ozzie struck him because Victor had never fought with anyone. Victor wanted very much to make things right, though he didn't know if he could be Ozzie's friend after all of this.

Questions to Victor:

*From Mediator (both in pre-caucus and joint sessions):

How did it make you feel when Ozzie hit you?

What do you think is the problem between the two of you? The reason for the fight?

You were trying to talk to Ozzie about the rumors of your wanting to fight when he started to fight with you?

But you didn't really want to fight?

What do you think should happen now?

Would you be willing to meet with Ozzie and talk about it?

*From Ozzie:

How do I know you're not making this up now to save face since you lost?

Ozzie's story:

Ozzie claimed that his friend told him that Victor was going to have him "jumped." He said no one was going to beat him up, so when he saw Victor on the bus, he swung at him, starting a fight. He said he heard Victor had been in the hospital but was surprised because he didn't think he had hurt him that badly. When he was asked about the $250 hospital bill that Victor's mother had to cover, he said there was no way he would pay that bill! He didn't want to believe that it might be possible the "friend" who caused the fight by saying Victor was threatening Ozzie could have made it up because he was no longer friends with Victor. He didn't seem too sorry about any of it, and never let his guard down during the conversation. A friendship with Victor was not really a possibility!

Questions to Ozzie:

*From Mediator (both in pre-caucus and joint sessions):

How did it make you feel to fight with him?

How do you know that? (Victor was going to have him jumped)

You heard that Victor wanted to fight you so you decided to prevent that by starting the fight?

Is it possible that the sources gave you bad information?

What would you say is the cause of the conflict between the two of you?

What do you think we should do next?

*From Victor:

Do you think I'd really jump you...who have I ever jumped?

Solutions offered:

The solutions suggested by the boys boiled down to Ozzie just steering clear of Victor from now on. Victor was willing to try to be friends, but it was obvious that Ozzie wouldn't be very cooperative about that - he was stubborn about admitting the information he got from the "friend" might be false to begin with.

Resolution:

Ozzie agreed to leave Victor alone. He said he would talk to Victor himself if he ever heard rumors about him again. Victor agreed with avoiding each other for the most part. He also said he would talk to an adult about a situation like this one if it ever comes up again.

Narrative Critique:

First of all, this mediation was doomed to be difficult from the start. The school district really tracked this situation poorly, with no follow-up to an incident on school grounds, with injuries and police involvement. It was weeks before Ozzie was even disciplined with suspension for his part in the fight. Then, there was no follow up for several months when Ozzie's father was finally contacted by the police, and contacted the school. I think that all parties let this situation drag on way too long, prolonging hard feelings and resentment.

The boys' parents were ultimately positive factors in this mediation. Victor's mother was fairly agreeable about resolving the problems with Ozzie and his family. She only wanted to be reimbursed for the hospital costs she had to pay that insurance didn't cover. She wanted Ozzie's record to be cleared, and she wanted good relations with her neighbors, Ozzie's family. Ozzie's father seemed to want Ozzie to work things out, and knew Ozzie's attitude was in need of improvement. Fortunately, both parents had good relationships with their sons, and had some influence on their behavior, allowing greater possibility for the mediation to work between the boys.

Victor was very easy to work with and talk to. He was willing to work things out, even to the point of friendship. I think he was disappointed to realize it probably wouldn't work out that way. Ozzie, on the other hand, bore the greatest mark of the delay in dealing with this conflict, in my opinion. Already a "tough" guy, too much time had passed where the details of the original situation were no longer fresh enough to follow effectively, and he was not about to let himself feel as though he could have been wrong. To the last, he continued to insist he "check out" his source because he wouldn't believe this "friend" had set him up, and that Victor hadn't threatened him. He admitted it was a possibility, but not one he was ready to accept without confirmation. The most he would agree to was to stay away from Victor. He wouldn't bend to anything further. Hopefully, this would be enough to keep him out of trouble, at least for awhile. I would hope that Ozzie's father would continue to work with him to improve his attitude, as Ozzie is influenced by his father. Otherwise, I would say Ozzie appears to be the kind of adolescent who might be on the fast track to future trouble. Too consumed by being thought tough and cool, he may find his impulsiveness potentially dangerous.

I think that more timely mediation and resolution to the situation between Ozzie and Victor could have been more effective, and could have had more positive results.

Transcript:

Mediation Conversation Transcript for the "Fight on the School Bus" Conflict

Introduction:

GlendaF: I'd like to begin with some pr-caucus. Ozzie, can you please leave the room so I can meet briefly with Victor?

At a pre-caucus session with Victor:

GlendaF: Hello, Victor.

PatriciaH: Hello Mrs.?

GlendaF: Fahey

PatriciaH: hello mrs. fahey

GlendaF: I'd like to talk with you about the school bus fight between you and Ozzie a few months ago.

PatriciaH: yes

GlendaF: Can you please tell me what happened?

PatriciaH: Well, I was trying to talk to Ozzie and he got all agitated and punched me.

GlendaF: Then, what happened?

PatriciaH: I was trying to keep him from hitting me more so I defended myself.

GlendaF: How did it make you feel when Ozzie hit you?

GlendaF: You and Ozzie are friends, right?

PatriciaH: Well it was scary because I just wanted to clear up a misunderstanding and he went off on me.

PatriciaH: We've know each other for a few years.

GlendaF: Did you hit Ozzie?

PatriciaH: To try to keep him fromhurting me more.

GlendaF: How do you feel about the fight?

PatriciaH: I wish it hadn't of happened.

PatriciaH: but he hurt me so bad I had to be in the hospital

PatriciaH: It cost my mom extra money

GlendaF: What do you think is the problem between you? The reason for the fight?

PatriciaH: I don't think she should be responsible

PatriciaH: One of the guys we both know was telling Ozzie that I was mad and wanted to fight him. I found out and was trying to tell Ozzie it was all made up.

PatriciaH: But he was all worked up and wouldn't listen

GlendaF: What do you think should happen now?

PatriciaH: Ozzie's family could help my mom with the $250 she owes the hospital.

GlendaF: What about you and Ozzie?

PatriciaH: Ozzie and I could work it out with you if he's willing to settle

PatriciaH: things

GlendaF: Would you be willing to meet with Ozzie and talk about it?

PatriciaH: yes

GlendaF: can you get Ozzie, Pat????

PatriciaH: yes maam

At a pre-caucus session with Ozzie:

GlendaF: Hello, Ozzie.

KerinM: hi

GlendaF: I'd like to talk with you about the school bus fight between you and Victor a few months ago.

KerinM: yeah, sure

GlendaF: Can you please tell me what happened?

KerinM: Well, I found out that Victor was gonna get me jumped, so I just, you know, beat him to it

GlendaF: What did you do to beat him to it?

KerinM: punched his lights out\

GlendaF: You and Victor have been friends for quite awhile, right?

KerinM: well, we do live near each other

GlendaF: How did it make you feel to fight with him?

KerinM: he was gonna get me jumped!

GlendaF: How do you know that?

KerinM: I got my sources

GlendaF: Is it possible that the sources gave you bad information?

KerinM: no way, the source is a friend o mine

GlendaF: So, what would you say is the main cause of the conflict between the two of you?

GlendaF: The information from your other friend?

KerinM: he tried to get me beat up, I beat him up first. He's mad about it

KerinM: (

KerinM: oh, sorry)

KerinM: I dunno why he wanted to get me beat up

GlendaF: He had to go to the hospital. Did you know that?

KerinM: yeah

GlendaF: What do you think we should do next?

GlendaF: Would you be willing to meet with Victor and talk about everything?

KerinM: I guess so

At a joint mediation session:

GlendaF: The school has asked you to meet to resolve the conflict between you that resulted in your fight on the school bus a few months ago. I will assist you as mediator in your efforts to try and arrive at a solution that would be agreeable to both of you. Before we begin, what rules or guidelines do you feel would be appropriate for our discussion?

PatriciaH: No name calling or bad language?

KerinM: no interupting

GlendaF: All right, Victor. thank you, Ozzie. I think we are ready to begin.

GlendaF: Victor, can you please tell your side of the story?

PatriciaH: I found out that one of the guys at school told Ozzie that I was mad and wanted to fight him.

PatriciaH: I was trying to talk to Ozzie on the bus about it and he hit me.

PatriciaH: I hit him back trying to defend myself.

GlendaF: Then, what happened?

PatriciaH: He kept hitting and I ended up in the hospital

GlendaF: How did it make you feel?

PatriciaH: It was scary because he wouldn't listen and I didn't want to fight him. I kind of wanted to be friends.

GlendaF: So, let me see if I understand - you were trying to talk to Ozzie about the rumors of your wantiog to fight when he started to fight with you?

PatriciaH: yes

GlendaF: But you didn't really want to fight?

PatriciaH: no

PatriciaH: i didn't want to fight

GlendaF: Ozzie, do you have any questions?

KerinM: yeah

GlendaF: Go ahead

KerinM: how do I know you're not making this up now to save face since you lost!

PatriciaH: Everyone on the bus saw that I wasn't trying to fight back unless I had too.

PatriciaH: I only hit you once to try and stop you

GlendaF: Do you have anything else to add, Victor?

PatriciaH: I don't want Ozzie to be in trouble . I just want him to listen to people and not get in fights over something that's not true.

KerinM: gee how nice of you

GlendaF: thank you, victor. Ozzie, can you tell us what happened?

KerinM: Buddy of mine tells me old Victor here's planning to get me beat up

KerinM: I decide that aint gonna happen

KerinM: No way am I gonna get beat up

KerinM: So I see Victor on the bus and take a swing at him

KerinM: he's not much of a fighter

KerinM: probably why he only swung once

GlendaF: Let's not have putdowns, Ozzie. Just tell me the story.

KerinM: yeah yeah

KerinM: anyway, next thing I hear he's in the hospital.

GlendaF: How did that make you feel?

KerinM: I didn't think I'd hurt 'im that badly

KerinM: so i guess i was kinda surprised

GlendaF: Is there anything more?

KerinM: nope

GlendaF: Let's be sure I understand - you heard that Victor wanted to fight you so you decided to prevent that by starting the fight?

KerinM: yeah! I'm not about to be jumped by nobody!

KerinM: I got a rep to protect

GlendaF: I understand your feelings about that, but do you think the person who told you about Victor's intentions may have made it up for some reason?

PatriciaH: Do you think I'd really jump you...who have I ever jumped?

KerinM: man, there's a first time for everything

KerinM: but sure

GlendaF: sure what?

KerinM: but sure

KerinM: I suppose my buddy could have been misinformed

GlendaF: To rephrase the situaiton: Ozzie, you heard that Victor wanted to "jump" you, so you tried to prevent that by starting a fight yourself. Victor, you say you never said anything like that about Ozzie, and never wanted to fight with him. Is that correct?

PatriciaH: that's right

KerinM: yeah

GlendaF: If it could be possible that the person who spread that rumor may have been mistaken, do you both think we can resolve this situation?

PatriciaH: How?

KerinM: yeah, how?

PatriciaH: My mom owes the hospital 250 bucks that Ozzie caused.

GlendaF: How do you think we can get past this conflict?

KerinM: dude, I'm NOT paying any of your bills!

GlendaF: I understand that you are neighbors, and we can discuss all of this with your parents as well.

PatriciaH: I didn't start anything...and that's a lot of money

PatriciaH: My mom would like that.

GlendaF: I understand, Victor. Let's talk about the feelings between you and Ozzie for now.

PatriciaH: I used to want to be Ozzie's friend. Now I just want him to know I don't want to fight and leave me alone

GlendaF: Ozzie?

KerinM: what

GlendaF: What do you think about what Victor has suggested?

PatriciaH: His buddy used to be my buddy and I don't need buddies that make up stories.

KerinM: hey I'm cool with leaving him alone

KerinM: I don't really want to get in any more fights either

KerinM: my dad's crawling all over me.

GlendaF: What do you think you might do the next time you "hear" that someone (like Victor) tells you about what someone might do?

KerinM: am i not supposed to trust my friends anymore?

PatriciaH: you could have checked with me first

PatriciaH: before starting a fight

KerinM: do you understand my position? What I heard was you were gonna jump me on the bus!

KerinM: you came up to me on the bus!

KerinM: I wasn't gonna let you take the first swing!

PatriciaH: Did I look like I was going to swing?

KerinM: how am I supposed to know what you look like before you take a swing?

GlendaF: Ozzie, do you think you might find another way to deal with a situation like this?

KerinM: I got in a lot of trouble for this

KerinM: I don't like being in trouble

GlendaF: Do you think it's possible that it could have been avoided?

KerinM: I guess so

GlendaF: Victor has suggested that thought he wanted to be friends, he would be satisfied if you just avoided each other. Is that correct, Victor?

PatriciaH: Yes...it would be better if we could be friends but I just don't want to be involved in fights so

PatriciaH: if we need to avoid each other that will be fine

GlendaF: And Ozzie, you said you didn't really want to get into fights either, but you just want to protect yourself. Is that correct?

KerinM: yeah

GlendaF: And you recognize that you might find another way to react to a threat from someone else?

GlendaF: a third party?

KerinM: yeah, my dad and I have been talking a lot about stuff like this lately

GlendaF: That's great. So, do you think you can both agree on this?

KerinM: Reminds me a lot of DARE class

PatriciaH: yeah me too : )

KerinM: yeah

GlendaF: It does, doesn't it? And DARE tries to teach everyone about avoiding bad situations, doesn't it?

PatriciaH: yeah

KerinM: u-huh

GlendaF: If this situation were to happen again, what might you do differently?

KerinM: well, I guess I could have let Victor tell me himself if he wanted to beat me up

GlendaF: Good!

GlendaF: Do you think you can both live with this?

PatriciaH: I could have talked to an adult that could help us talk it over. I can kinda see Ozzie's side

GlendaF: Excellent, Victor.

GlendaF: Are we in agreement?

KerinM: yeah

PatriciaH: yes

GlendaF: Do you have anything else to say to each other?

PatriciaH: If Ozzie decides he wants to talk with me I would like that.

PatriciaH: We live near each other

KerinM: i gotta check things out with this buddy of mine.

KerinM: If he's lying, he's not a friend after all

GlendaF: Let's talk about you and Victor first.

PatriciaH: I'll stay clear. You know where I am.

GlendaF: sorry - typed too fast6

KerinM: yeah, but I can't talk to victor until I get my info from him!

KerinM: but I'll stay off his case

PatriciaH: What if he doesn't come clean? just don't let him stir up trouble for you again.

GlendaF: That's a great start. thank you both, boys. And don't worry about your parents. I'm sure they will work things out as long as the two of you are ok

KerinM: man. if he sticks with his story, I said I'd stay off your case!

GlendaF: sometimes we have to realize that things people say can be incorrect or misunderstood.

KerinM: If he fesses up, then that's a different story I'll deal with later

GlendaF: I've written down the agreement you have reached, and I'd like you to both sign it to indicate your resolution.

PatriciaH: Ok

KerinM: sure

GlendaF: Thank you again - I've enjoyed talking with you, and I know you will be strong enough to find ways to deal with future problems.

GlendaF: Between the two of you, or with others.